A Mother’s Day Ordeal: Not Every Child Celebrates Mother’s Day

A Mother’s Day Ordeal: Not Every Child Celebrates Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is a day of celebration and joy for families as we cherish the many gifts of mothers around the world.

Yet, that might not be the case for everyone. In a healthy mother and child relationship, the bond between mother and child is usually a close and endearing one. For others however, Mother’s Day might be a painful one. For children who might suffer from ongoing emotional, physical and psychological abuse due to the absence of or abuse from their mother, or adults who were abused as children, Mother’s Day might be a stark reminder of that toxic relationship and trigger traumtic memories.

The scars left behind in children who experienced trauma as a result of their mother make it difficult for them to celebrate Mother’s Day. Trauma is directly attributed to any type of abuse a mother subjected her child to. Abuse may take many forms (spiritual, emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual), and can be ongoing throughout childhood and into adulthood. In many cases, the source of the abuse may be an untreated mental illness or a personality disorder. Ultimately, an abusive upbringing damages the relationship between the child and the parent. Moreover, all types of abuse are damaging to children and can cause long-term difficulties with their behaviour and mental health.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, let’s remember the children whose mothers do not fulfil the ideal role of motherhood. Let’s extend our love and respect to all those battling with such issues today.

For those struggling with Mother’s Day, here are some tips you can follow to make getting through Mother’s Day a bit easier.

Tips for navigating Mother’s Day
Be honest about how you feel  
Acknowledge how you actually feel about this day instead of what you think you should feel. It is easy to skip over your true feelings when confronted with idealistic Mother’s Day messages and people telling you how you should feel about your mom. Even though it’s hard, being honest with yourself about your feelings — without judgment — is an important step in navigating difficult emotions surrounding family-centric holidays.

Take a break from social media on Mother’s Day
Try and take a couple of days of social media to focus and take care of yourself. Being away from social media helps you take your mind off the bombardment of Mother’s Day messages.

Celebrate the positive female role models in your life
Pay tribute to another female in your life instead – a sister, grandmother, female friend, teacher, aunt. Take this opportunity to let this woman know how much her presence has meant to you. You could also turn Mother’s Day into your own personal celebration of strong and powerful women everywhere. Your self-defined version of Mother's Day is definitely worthy of celebration.

Create a plan to take care of yourself
Get out of the house and do something fun to take your mind off things – go for a run, buy yourself some ice cream. You may have a mother-sized hole in your heart, but you can take time today to think about how you can take better care of yourself. Make a commitment to treat yourself with respect, love, encouragement and gentleness.

Spend time with supportive friends on that day
Reach out to a friend who is always willing to lend a judgment-free ear whenever you need emotional support or some companionship.

*Content is republished with permission from Annabelle Psychology.


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